Love hurts
Mon cher homme. Toi, j’aurai pu te raconter encore longtemps l’histoire de notre amour, l’histoire de notre grande amitié, l'histoire de notre histoire, tout simplement. Toi, j’aurai pu rester là et m’abandonner encore très longtemps dans la chaleur rassurante de tes bras, dans la douceur certaine de tes baisers. Mais quelque chose est brisé, quelque chose est rompu maintenant. Quelque chose qui met une distance énorme entre nous. ça s’est insinué là, tout doucement, ça s’est insinué dans mes gestes un peu las, dans mes regards devenant lointains. Je ne saurai pas dire quoi. Je ne saurai pas dire comment c’est arrivé. C’est comme ça maintenant. Tu parles, ma voix ne fait plus écho. Tu me regardes, mes yeux se défilent. Tu sais, au quotidien, tout s’use, même l’amour.

guided by someone, a "wandering thoughts" picture has been found. "the scan turned out not to be so nice as the original this was taken in paris, feb 03, in the basement of the indonesian embassy after some festivities. i went together with that guy to give a surprise to a person that was very special to him. in this picture he was clearly thinking of something, his thoughts were wandering around in this room. the real picture said a lot more than...-avL" and that was the worst of all. here's the belief..placing faith in someone, with trusting, even if it may cause me to ultimately get hurt, I will experience complete love, cause love and trust are partners, always. They work well together. But, there is no more trust here. I'm not sure anymore that he will always be there for me no matter what happens. I'm not sure anymore if I start to fall, he will catch me again.. if I need a soft word, his is the one I will hear, or if I need a hug, his arms will simply enfold me. He may not be there to break my fall. There's no way to plan for the future. see.. the doubt is there. And in such a weak moment, I doubt my belief and believe my doubt... I should keep the words from God. Ask Him to protect my heart, cause when He does, no one could ever hurt me. No one.

"Bapa yang menganugerahi cinta indah buatku ini, takkan pernah merubah cintaNya sendiri pada kita. Apapun yang akan terjadi, Dia tetap akan mendorongku mencintai panduanNya. Melebihi semua perasaan cintaku akan manusia dan benda dalam dunia.... melebihi cintaku padamu."